Skin Care Heroine
An angel helps challenged girls face the world
By Rebecca Jones
Originally published in Skin Deep, March/April 2009. Copyright 2009. Associated Skin Care Professionals. All right reserved.
Diane French knew immediately when she read a newsletter story three years ago about Angel Faces--a weeklong beauty retreat in California for teenage girls with facial deformities--she wanted to call and offer her services.
French is a licensed esthetician who runs her own skin care business in San Diego, so she knew she had the technical expertise to help the girls learn about corrective cosmetics to conceal burns and surgical scars.
But more than that, French, 44, knows firsthand what it's like to deal with a ravaged face--a face that others do not easily associate with beauty.
"When I'd go to a makeup counter at 16, they didn't know how to deal with me," she says. "They'd say, 'You're too pretty to have that big, ugly scar.' I felt like 'Can't I be pretty and have the scar?'"
Now, as volunteer spa director for Angel Faces, French is determined to help a special group of teenage girls who struggle with image issues far more profound than what most teenagers deal with.
Being at Peace
"A piece of information I want to really share with the world is to not let society dictate how your life should be," French says. "When you are growing up, people expect you to get married, have children, and make lots of money. When those things don't happen, you are disappointed. I shared with the girls at the retreat that if you do not get married, or you do not have children, or you are not rich, it doesn't mean that your life is any less fulfilling. This is one of my greatest life lessons that I learned in my early 20s, and it's helped me to be at peace with the way that I am choosing to live my life."
A Healing Touch
"Diane is an incredible gift to this program," says Lesia Cartelli, founder of Angel Faces. Cartelli still carries the scars from being severely burned when she was 9 years old. "It's really powerful for the girls to see her get on with her life, not become her facial anomaly. She really has a very healing touch for the girls. The girls are comfortable with her because they know she has walked their path."
French was born with a large nevus, a colored growth that covered the left side of her face, forehead, and scalp. "Mine happened to be almost black in color, and hairy," French said. "Some people have inappropriately termed it the 'werewolf syndrome.' With descriptions like that, my parents chose to have it removed. But the doctors couldn't do that until I was 5. They wanted my face to fully develop first, so they wouldn't have to worry about the graft stretching as my face grew."
Even so, French faced years of surgeries, including having tissue expanders placed under her scalp to stretch the skin. Today, a skin graft covers the site of the nevus, but with the help of camouflage makeup, the scarring is less noticeable.
"Having had a lot of surgery, I always wanted to be a nurse when I grew up," she says. "But I felt like I wasn't smart enough. So I got into medical records."
By the time she was 21, she considered getting into skin care. But the only training programs she could find were for cosmetology, and she wasn't interested in learning to do hair and nails. She also didn't have the financial means to enter a year-long program. "I was supporting myself by that time, and I had to take a job that would pay the rent," she says. "So I had to put skin care on the back burner."
It wasn't until after she got married, seven years ago, that French found an esthetician program. "It was exactly what I wanted to do," she says. "And since I had someone else to help support me, I was able to cut back on my work hours and go to school."
She completed the six-month program in May 2003. She continued to work in medical records full time and do skin care only part time. But after going to her first Angel Faces retreat three years ago, she came back convinced she wanted to focus on her esthetician career full time.
"I wasn't being true to myself," she says. "I'd been in healthcare for 23 years, I'd been there, done that, and now I wanted to live my passion. My husband agreed we could give it a shot for one year and see how things went. Here we are three years later, and I'm still in my skin care business."
A Shot of Courage
French owns and operates Hidden Beauty Within, a small skin care salon in a room inside a nail care salon. She has big plans for the future, however. She's working on a proposal to deliver to local plastic surgeons and burn centers in hopes of building up a special needs clientele. She also wants to get involved with other community support groups, maybe burn support groups, so that she can share her life experiences and life skills with them.
She says the courage she's seen girls at Angel Faces exhibit has given her a much-needed shot of courage to do what she needs to do to grow her business. The girls say that being around French gives them the courage to do what they need to do as well."It was mainly her story that had an impact on me," says Shawna Hoagland, 17, of San Francisco. "Most of the other girls at Angel Faces were burned, but Diane wasn't burned. We had something in common that way."
Hoagland was born with a misshapen nose and mouth. Because of her birth defect, she couldn't breathe through her nose, and couldn't eat easily. She's had more than 10 corrective surgeries so far, with more on the horizon.
French knew about Hoagland's situation through social activities with her parents. French not only encouraged Hoagland to go to the Angel Faces retreat, held in June this year, she even paid the $500 fee to sponsor her.
"Without her, I probably wouldn't have been able to go to Angel Faces, and wouldn't have had that experience, which literally changed my life," Hoagland says. "The way she lives her life, she's just so focused on helping girls. She's so eager to help them heal. She's one of the best examples I've ever seen of how to live my own life, how to get through everything."
At Angel Faces, the girls are treated to a week of pampering. This year, the camp was at a new facility in Glen Ivy, California. Twenty girls, ranging in age from 11 to 19, attended, accompanied by 21 adult volunteers.
On one day of camp, the girls are all given facials. On another, massages. Another day is spent on hair and makeup techniques. Volunteer spa technicians--recruited by French--give the girls lots of hands-on time.
"It's indescribable," French says, recalling her first experience as a volunteer at Angel Faces in 2006. "To actually be able to give back to somebody, to nurture them just as you wanted to be nurtured. I remember how my mom would touch my face, how good it felt that someone wanted to touch me. Because to look in the mirror, you felt untouchable. It's hard not to cry about it now."
After that first year volunteering at Angel Faces, French contacted Cartelli and said she wanted to do more. Cartelli offered her the job of spa director, which means getting all the products used by the girls during the week donated and lining up a team of volunteer estheticians to assist.
And this year, Cartelli asked French to do a 45-minute presentation on her life for the girls. "One of the girls said she thought my presentation was the best thing of the day, which just blew my mind," French says. "This is what I've wanted to do all my life. I didn't want to waste my childhood pain. I didn't want to go through all that for nothing." French also shared various coping strategies with the girls.
"One of my big ones, starting around age 9, I created a 'box of happiness,'" she says. "At the time it was just a box of mementoes. I put things in there that made me feel good. So when I came home, if I'd had a bad day at school, people teasing me, I had my box. I had a little card that someone had given me that said I was beautiful. Just to see that someone had thought of that made a big difference."
"Another one was, find someone you can share your pain with," she says. "Sometimes I didn't want to share with Mom or Dad because it upset them. It's important to find a friend who will validate your feelings. And have pictures of friends and good times. You think, 'This is difficult now, but I was having fun then, and I'll have fun again.'"
Her faith has also sustained her through much grief, French says. "I like to have different Bible verses to remind me that God loves me, I'll be OK."
Cartelli says she was immediately drawn to French because the two share a commitment to overcoming all obstacles. "She's not a victim," Cartelli says. "She and I are of a strong mindset that this is just something that has happened to us, but we don't let it stay with us."
Rebecca Jones is a longtime newspaper reporter and freelance writer based in Denver, Colorado. Contact her at killarneyrose@comcast.net.
Diane French knew immediately when she read a newsletter story three years ago about Angel Faces--a weeklong beauty retreat in California for teenage girls with facial deformities--she wanted to call and offer her services.
French is a licensed esthetician who runs her own skin care business in San Diego, so she knew she had the technical expertise to help the girls learn about corrective cosmetics to conceal burns and surgical scars.
But more than that, French, 44, knows firsthand what it's like to deal with a ravaged face--a face that others do not easily associate with beauty.
"When I'd go to a makeup counter at 16, they didn't know how to deal with me," she says. "They'd say, 'You're too pretty to have that big, ugly scar.' I felt like 'Can't I be pretty and have the scar?'"
Now, as volunteer spa director for Angel Faces, French is determined to help a special group of teenage girls who struggle with image issues far more profound than what most teenagers deal with.
Being at Peace
"A piece of information I want to really share with the world is to not let society dictate how your life should be," French says. "When you are growing up, people expect you to get married, have children, and make lots of money. When those things don't happen, you are disappointed. I shared with the girls at the retreat that if you do not get married, or you do not have children, or you are not rich, it doesn't mean that your life is any less fulfilling. This is one of my greatest life lessons that I learned in my early 20s, and it's helped me to be at peace with the way that I am choosing to live my life."
A Healing Touch
"Diane is an incredible gift to this program," says Lesia Cartelli, founder of Angel Faces. Cartelli still carries the scars from being severely burned when she was 9 years old. "It's really powerful for the girls to see her get on with her life, not become her facial anomaly. She really has a very healing touch for the girls. The girls are comfortable with her because they know she has walked their path."
French was born with a large nevus, a colored growth that covered the left side of her face, forehead, and scalp. "Mine happened to be almost black in color, and hairy," French said. "Some people have inappropriately termed it the 'werewolf syndrome.' With descriptions like that, my parents chose to have it removed. But the doctors couldn't do that until I was 5. They wanted my face to fully develop first, so they wouldn't have to worry about the graft stretching as my face grew."
Even so, French faced years of surgeries, including having tissue expanders placed under her scalp to stretch the skin. Today, a skin graft covers the site of the nevus, but with the help of camouflage makeup, the scarring is less noticeable.
"Having had a lot of surgery, I always wanted to be a nurse when I grew up," she says. "But I felt like I wasn't smart enough. So I got into medical records."
By the time she was 21, she considered getting into skin care. But the only training programs she could find were for cosmetology, and she wasn't interested in learning to do hair and nails. She also didn't have the financial means to enter a year-long program. "I was supporting myself by that time, and I had to take a job that would pay the rent," she says. "So I had to put skin care on the back burner."
It wasn't until after she got married, seven years ago, that French found an esthetician program. "It was exactly what I wanted to do," she says. "And since I had someone else to help support me, I was able to cut back on my work hours and go to school."
She completed the six-month program in May 2003. She continued to work in medical records full time and do skin care only part time. But after going to her first Angel Faces retreat three years ago, she came back convinced she wanted to focus on her esthetician career full time.
"I wasn't being true to myself," she says. "I'd been in healthcare for 23 years, I'd been there, done that, and now I wanted to live my passion. My husband agreed we could give it a shot for one year and see how things went. Here we are three years later, and I'm still in my skin care business."
A Shot of Courage
French owns and operates Hidden Beauty Within, a small skin care salon in a room inside a nail care salon. She has big plans for the future, however. She's working on a proposal to deliver to local plastic surgeons and burn centers in hopes of building up a special needs clientele. She also wants to get involved with other community support groups, maybe burn support groups, so that she can share her life experiences and life skills with them.
She says the courage she's seen girls at Angel Faces exhibit has given her a much-needed shot of courage to do what she needs to do to grow her business. The girls say that being around French gives them the courage to do what they need to do as well."It was mainly her story that had an impact on me," says Shawna Hoagland, 17, of San Francisco. "Most of the other girls at Angel Faces were burned, but Diane wasn't burned. We had something in common that way."
Hoagland was born with a misshapen nose and mouth. Because of her birth defect, she couldn't breathe through her nose, and couldn't eat easily. She's had more than 10 corrective surgeries so far, with more on the horizon.
French knew about Hoagland's situation through social activities with her parents. French not only encouraged Hoagland to go to the Angel Faces retreat, held in June this year, she even paid the $500 fee to sponsor her.
"Without her, I probably wouldn't have been able to go to Angel Faces, and wouldn't have had that experience, which literally changed my life," Hoagland says. "The way she lives her life, she's just so focused on helping girls. She's so eager to help them heal. She's one of the best examples I've ever seen of how to live my own life, how to get through everything."
At Angel Faces, the girls are treated to a week of pampering. This year, the camp was at a new facility in Glen Ivy, California. Twenty girls, ranging in age from 11 to 19, attended, accompanied by 21 adult volunteers.
On one day of camp, the girls are all given facials. On another, massages. Another day is spent on hair and makeup techniques. Volunteer spa technicians--recruited by French--give the girls lots of hands-on time.
"It's indescribable," French says, recalling her first experience as a volunteer at Angel Faces in 2006. "To actually be able to give back to somebody, to nurture them just as you wanted to be nurtured. I remember how my mom would touch my face, how good it felt that someone wanted to touch me. Because to look in the mirror, you felt untouchable. It's hard not to cry about it now."
After that first year volunteering at Angel Faces, French contacted Cartelli and said she wanted to do more. Cartelli offered her the job of spa director, which means getting all the products used by the girls during the week donated and lining up a team of volunteer estheticians to assist.
And this year, Cartelli asked French to do a 45-minute presentation on her life for the girls. "One of the girls said she thought my presentation was the best thing of the day, which just blew my mind," French says. "This is what I've wanted to do all my life. I didn't want to waste my childhood pain. I didn't want to go through all that for nothing." French also shared various coping strategies with the girls.
"One of my big ones, starting around age 9, I created a 'box of happiness,'" she says. "At the time it was just a box of mementoes. I put things in there that made me feel good. So when I came home, if I'd had a bad day at school, people teasing me, I had my box. I had a little card that someone had given me that said I was beautiful. Just to see that someone had thought of that made a big difference."
"Another one was, find someone you can share your pain with," she says. "Sometimes I didn't want to share with Mom or Dad because it upset them. It's important to find a friend who will validate your feelings. And have pictures of friends and good times. You think, 'This is difficult now, but I was having fun then, and I'll have fun again.'"
Her faith has also sustained her through much grief, French says. "I like to have different Bible verses to remind me that God loves me, I'll be OK."
Cartelli says she was immediately drawn to French because the two share a commitment to overcoming all obstacles. "She's not a victim," Cartelli says. "She and I are of a strong mindset that this is just something that has happened to us, but we don't let it stay with us."
Rebecca Jones is a longtime newspaper reporter and freelance writer based in Denver, Colorado. Contact her at killarneyrose@comcast.net.
