Savvy Self-Care
The Heart of Bodywork
By Nina McIntosh
Originally published in Massage & Bodywork magazine, August/September 2005.
Copyright 2005. Associated Bodywork and Massage Professionals. All rights reserved.
Q: Others come to us to lift their spirits, but how do we keep our batteries charged?
A: This work can be demanding as well as rewarding. Aside from the physical wear and tear -- the sore shoulders, aching backs, and tired hands -- there are emotional challenges as well. In a uniquely intimate environment, you're called on to put nervous clients at ease, comfort those in crisis, and appease the occasional grump -- all while keeping your professional balance and objectivity.
You might also have work-related stresses outside the treatment room. For instance, those closest to you may not support or fully appreciate your choice of profession. Or the community you live in can be indifferent to, or uneducated about, the benefits of massage therapy and bodywork. In such an atmosphere, it can feel as if you're always swimming upstream.
Benefits and stresses will vary according to your work setting. Working for an employer offers security, but also the aggravation of adjusting to another's values and schedule. A private practice brings freedom but can be more financially uncertain (and sometimes, lonely).
The news isn't all bad, however. Once you've identified the pressures on you, you can begin developing ways to nourish your mind, rejuvenate your body, and keep your spark and enthusiasm alive. It's essential that you do so -- not just for your own well being, but also for the health of your practice.
Sagging spirits and burnout can affect your ability to maintain good professional relationships. How well you keep boundaries can depend on your overall emotional health and even how you're feeling on a particular day. For instance, one of the most common boundary errors we can make is chatting too much during a session. Frequently, this stems from feeling isolated and needing someone to talk to. We have to be aware that clients may be turned off when they sense we're depleted or needy.
Here are some warning signs your self-care needs more attention:
- You dread your clients' arrival.
- You have physical symptoms that get worse while you're working and that persist even after a good night's sleep and a massage.
- You're irritable or rude with clients.
- During a session, the minutes crawl by so slowly you think the clock must be broken.
- The majority of your clients strike you as difficult or demanding.
- Your clients ask, "How many sessions have you done today?" or "Do you ever get bodywork for yourself?" (Though they'll rarely tell us when they think we're tired, clients will often express their concern indirectly.)
- You find it difficult to focus on your work during a session and even forget what areas of the body you've already covered.
- It's been a long time since you've felt inspired about your work.
If these statements are true for you more often than not, consider taking a day off. Allow some time to come up with new ways to rejuvenate yourself.
Self-care Suggestions
We should attend to our professional health in a variety of ways. It's essential to maintain our physical vitality, to ensure that we're getting enough support and recognition from our colleagues, to seek out encouragement and enlightenment from teachers, and to schedule activities outside our work lives -- including plenty of playtime with friends.
You may already have some successful strategies that work well for you. Following are a few ideas that might not already be in your repertoire.
Bodywork
Many of us regularly trade with a friend or colleague, which can work well for both parties. However, every now and then it's great to break our routine and pay for bodywork from someone more experienced and advanced than we are. Not only will we feel better physically, but trying something different can also educate and inspire us. (Check with your accountant, you can often write off personal bodywork as a business expense.)
Support from Colleagues
Few other professions present quite the same issues as ours. It's a boon to our practice to have colleagues who can identify with our struggles, celebrate our victories, and help us when we're discouraged. Also, other massage therapists and bodyworkers can spark ideas about the everyday parts of our practices -- how to bring in new clients or how to make an office inviting, for instance. It's good to have at least one colleague you can talk with regularly.
Those who last the longest in this work, though, tend to be connected to a group that helps them weather the ups and downs of their careers. Although we frequently form close bonds with other students during our training, we often lose touch after graduation. You might consider looking up your former colleagues and organizing a get-together to compare notes.
A regular group you can count on is even more valuable. It takes some energy to organize such a group, but having a consistent source of support is well worth the effort.
If you start a group, set it up with care. A meeting where people just come to gripe won't be helpful to any of you (although some venting can be useful). Discuss what people want from the group and decide which suggestions are positive and useful. (One ground rule should be not to violate clients' confidentiality when discussing your work.)
Support from Teachers
We all need teachers. Whether it's one-on-one or a workshop setting, being challenged to learn something new keeps our interest in our work alive.
For example, you can cultivate an informal arrangement with a mentor, someone who is more experienced than you are, who can offer suggestions about issues, business matters, or practice building. Call a teacher or colleague you respect and ask if you may take her to lunch to discuss your career. Most people are happy to pass on their wisdom, and you'll no doubt benefit from their years of experience.
Our work requires skills in handling the professional relationship, yet often we haven't received training in this area. After we've started practicing, it's common to run into problems with situations or clients that stump us.
More and more manual therapists are seeking consultation from someone -- either another bodyworker or a mental health professional -- who is trained in psychological dynamics. This kind of consultation isn't for personal therapy, but to gain insight into work-related issues. If you're having trouble setting limits with clients, not knowing how to deal with demanding clients, or just plain burned out, you might want to contemplate this option. Sometimes we just need help in working well with a particularly difficult client. Untangling your relationships with clients and broadening your understanding of how to work with them can bring more enjoyment to your work day, giving you a new lease on your work life.
Outside Friends and Activities
If all your friends are connected to your work, and you always end up talking about work during your free time, consider asking for a limit on work discussions or widening your circle of friends. Even if you love what you do, taking a break from it can be a relief.
It's important to build into our lives activities that nourish our minds and bodies, such as yoga or meditation. However, we also need outside activities that are purely for pleasure. What constitutes pleasure depends on individual tastes. Going to the gym may be fun for others, but a drag for you. Digging in your garden, reading mysteries, or going to a movie might suit you better. Experiment, and develop a range of activities that help you feel good about yourself and your life.
Vacations
It's easy to neglect vacations. If you work for yourself or are concerned about money, taking time off may seem like a luxury you can't afford. No one can make that decision for you, but try thinking of a vacation as an investment in yourself. Even a jaunt to a nearby lake on your day off can be refreshing and renewing.
Selfish or Self-Care?
Those of us in the helping professions are especially vulnerable to feeling we're somehow letting our clients down when we take time out to care for ourselves. If you find yourself thinking this way, remind yourself that your strength, caring, and inner calm are as central to the services you offer as are your technical skills. At every level, your clients receive more value from their interactions with you when you're taking care of yourself.
An Honest Look
I've compiled the self-care questionnaire at the end of this article as a framework to help analyze the balance(or lack thereof) in our lives. It doesn't take long to complete and tally, but the lessons it teaches can be invaluable. Take a few moments to go through the exercise and consider the results.
Above all, think of something you can do for yourself today, and count it as a benefit to every aspect of your practice.
Nina McIntosh has more than 20 years experience as a bodyworker and is a Rosen Method Bodywork intern. For more information on her updated text, The Educated Heart: Professional Guidelines for Massage Therapists, Bodyworkers and Movement Teachers, call toll-free 877/327-0600 or visit www.educatedheart.com.
Copyright 2005. Associated Bodywork and Massage Professionals. All rights reserved.
Q: Others come to us to lift their spirits, but how do we keep our batteries charged?
A: This work can be demanding as well as rewarding. Aside from the physical wear and tear -- the sore shoulders, aching backs, and tired hands -- there are emotional challenges as well. In a uniquely intimate environment, you're called on to put nervous clients at ease, comfort those in crisis, and appease the occasional grump -- all while keeping your professional balance and objectivity.
You might also have work-related stresses outside the treatment room. For instance, those closest to you may not support or fully appreciate your choice of profession. Or the community you live in can be indifferent to, or uneducated about, the benefits of massage therapy and bodywork. In such an atmosphere, it can feel as if you're always swimming upstream.
Benefits and stresses will vary according to your work setting. Working for an employer offers security, but also the aggravation of adjusting to another's values and schedule. A private practice brings freedom but can be more financially uncertain (and sometimes, lonely).
The news isn't all bad, however. Once you've identified the pressures on you, you can begin developing ways to nourish your mind, rejuvenate your body, and keep your spark and enthusiasm alive. It's essential that you do so -- not just for your own well being, but also for the health of your practice.
Sagging spirits and burnout can affect your ability to maintain good professional relationships. How well you keep boundaries can depend on your overall emotional health and even how you're feeling on a particular day. For instance, one of the most common boundary errors we can make is chatting too much during a session. Frequently, this stems from feeling isolated and needing someone to talk to. We have to be aware that clients may be turned off when they sense we're depleted or needy.
Here are some warning signs your self-care needs more attention:
- You dread your clients' arrival.
- You have physical symptoms that get worse while you're working and that persist even after a good night's sleep and a massage.
- You're irritable or rude with clients.
- During a session, the minutes crawl by so slowly you think the clock must be broken.
- The majority of your clients strike you as difficult or demanding.
- Your clients ask, "How many sessions have you done today?" or "Do you ever get bodywork for yourself?" (Though they'll rarely tell us when they think we're tired, clients will often express their concern indirectly.)
- You find it difficult to focus on your work during a session and even forget what areas of the body you've already covered.
- It's been a long time since you've felt inspired about your work.
If these statements are true for you more often than not, consider taking a day off. Allow some time to come up with new ways to rejuvenate yourself.
Self-care Suggestions
We should attend to our professional health in a variety of ways. It's essential to maintain our physical vitality, to ensure that we're getting enough support and recognition from our colleagues, to seek out encouragement and enlightenment from teachers, and to schedule activities outside our work lives -- including plenty of playtime with friends.
You may already have some successful strategies that work well for you. Following are a few ideas that might not already be in your repertoire.
Bodywork
Many of us regularly trade with a friend or colleague, which can work well for both parties. However, every now and then it's great to break our routine and pay for bodywork from someone more experienced and advanced than we are. Not only will we feel better physically, but trying something different can also educate and inspire us. (Check with your accountant, you can often write off personal bodywork as a business expense.)
Support from Colleagues
Few other professions present quite the same issues as ours. It's a boon to our practice to have colleagues who can identify with our struggles, celebrate our victories, and help us when we're discouraged. Also, other massage therapists and bodyworkers can spark ideas about the everyday parts of our practices -- how to bring in new clients or how to make an office inviting, for instance. It's good to have at least one colleague you can talk with regularly.
Those who last the longest in this work, though, tend to be connected to a group that helps them weather the ups and downs of their careers. Although we frequently form close bonds with other students during our training, we often lose touch after graduation. You might consider looking up your former colleagues and organizing a get-together to compare notes.
A regular group you can count on is even more valuable. It takes some energy to organize such a group, but having a consistent source of support is well worth the effort.
If you start a group, set it up with care. A meeting where people just come to gripe won't be helpful to any of you (although some venting can be useful). Discuss what people want from the group and decide which suggestions are positive and useful. (One ground rule should be not to violate clients' confidentiality when discussing your work.)
Support from Teachers
We all need teachers. Whether it's one-on-one or a workshop setting, being challenged to learn something new keeps our interest in our work alive.
For example, you can cultivate an informal arrangement with a mentor, someone who is more experienced than you are, who can offer suggestions about issues, business matters, or practice building. Call a teacher or colleague you respect and ask if you may take her to lunch to discuss your career. Most people are happy to pass on their wisdom, and you'll no doubt benefit from their years of experience.
Our work requires skills in handling the professional relationship, yet often we haven't received training in this area. After we've started practicing, it's common to run into problems with situations or clients that stump us.
More and more manual therapists are seeking consultation from someone -- either another bodyworker or a mental health professional -- who is trained in psychological dynamics. This kind of consultation isn't for personal therapy, but to gain insight into work-related issues. If you're having trouble setting limits with clients, not knowing how to deal with demanding clients, or just plain burned out, you might want to contemplate this option. Sometimes we just need help in working well with a particularly difficult client. Untangling your relationships with clients and broadening your understanding of how to work with them can bring more enjoyment to your work day, giving you a new lease on your work life.
Outside Friends and Activities
If all your friends are connected to your work, and you always end up talking about work during your free time, consider asking for a limit on work discussions or widening your circle of friends. Even if you love what you do, taking a break from it can be a relief.
It's important to build into our lives activities that nourish our minds and bodies, such as yoga or meditation. However, we also need outside activities that are purely for pleasure. What constitutes pleasure depends on individual tastes. Going to the gym may be fun for others, but a drag for you. Digging in your garden, reading mysteries, or going to a movie might suit you better. Experiment, and develop a range of activities that help you feel good about yourself and your life.
Vacations
It's easy to neglect vacations. If you work for yourself or are concerned about money, taking time off may seem like a luxury you can't afford. No one can make that decision for you, but try thinking of a vacation as an investment in yourself. Even a jaunt to a nearby lake on your day off can be refreshing and renewing.
Selfish or Self-Care?
Those of us in the helping professions are especially vulnerable to feeling we're somehow letting our clients down when we take time out to care for ourselves. If you find yourself thinking this way, remind yourself that your strength, caring, and inner calm are as central to the services you offer as are your technical skills. At every level, your clients receive more value from their interactions with you when you're taking care of yourself.
An Honest Look
I've compiled the self-care questionnaire at the end of this article as a framework to help analyze the balance(or lack thereof) in our lives. It doesn't take long to complete and tally, but the lessons it teaches can be invaluable. Take a few moments to go through the exercise and consider the results.
Above all, think of something you can do for yourself today, and count it as a benefit to every aspect of your practice.
Nina McIntosh has more than 20 years experience as a bodyworker and is a Rosen Method Bodywork intern. For more information on her updated text, The Educated Heart: Professional Guidelines for Massage Therapists, Bodyworkers and Movement Teachers, call toll-free 877/327-0600 or visit www.educatedheart.com.
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